Beating My Bullies (Part 1): Living in Fear and Darkness

I made a very personal decision recently and decided to publicly speak about my personal experiences with bullying, anorexia and depression. The following is the first part of the story that I published in this week's edition of the Edgerton Reporter. I will be posting the second half tomorrow. I hope you help me by spreading my message. As difficult as it was to put everything down in print, I feel it is my duty. If just one person is helped, it will be worth it.

October is the month of spooks and ghouls, breast cancer awareness and visits to the pumpkin patch. It is also National Bullying Awareness Month. Bullying is something I am all too familiar with. As a child, I lived in fear of my classmates. Being the lone Catholic in a Lutheran school is not a fun position to be in.

Darkness and despair
I was fed mouse, under the guise of whipped cream, during a birthday sleepover for one of my female classmates. My hands and feet were bound during my sleep, and my classmates laughed when I woke up and was less graceful than usual.

If it was not the girls teasing me and making jokes behind my back, the boys were there to physically assault me. I was punched and kicked on an almost daily basis, never hard enough to bruise, but it hurt all the same.

My senior picture, one month before school started

One day, after being punched and kicked repeatedly by one classmate, I returned to my classroom in tears. When the teacher asked what was wrong, I told her what transpired. Her response? She could not believe me because she knew there was friction between the male student and I, but she could not believe him when he said he did not physically hurt me because he was always getting into trouble.

My personal possessions were destroyed or hidden. I had to return home one cold winter day without a coat after someone stole it from my cubby. My parents were forced to purchase a second winter jacket for me, and that one also disappeared. Both were eventually “found” by a classmate, but no one knew how they were “misplaced.”

I was 13 the first time I contemplated ending my life. With no friends and no teachers taking my side, I lived in fear when I went to school. I had nightmares about being beaten to a bloody pulp and left for dead. I was ridiculed on an almost daily basis and told that I was retarded, fat, ugly and no one would ever love me. After three years of fighting, I began to believe the mantra. I had no self-confidence and began to believe that the world would be better off without me. I was just wasting space.

My Catholic upbringing and the belief that I would burn in hell for the rest of my life is what saved me and kept me from ending my life. Fear can be a strong motivator. But happiness eluded me.

Welcome to the jungle
I found a piece of happiness in the bigger pond of high school. I was still teased, but thankfully not beaten. I made friends and found inclusion in my high school’s band program. And yet, at the back of my mind, the bullies were still winning. If a relationship did not work out, I thought it was because I was not good enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough.

My senior year of high school, the depression hit hard. My boyfriend was distant, and I was determined to earn his love. How? By being a better athlete, musician and student. I improved every single one of my cross country meet times and threw myself into my music. I earned three bids to State Solo and Ensemble, and three more state first place medals.

Come track and field, I left it all on the track, PRing by 20 seconds in the mile run during my first meet of the season. But it came at a cost. I became anorexic at the start of the school year. I would eat lunch with my friends, and clean off my tray. But 50 percent of the time, that was the only meal I ate all day.

My depression led to anorexia, and I dropped 30 lbs. in 7 weeks

I weighed 170 pounds at the start of the school year. By Thanksgiving, I had dropped to 140 pounds, and everyone told me how good I looked. On the outside, my life seemed perfect. But inside the bubble, it was dissolving into madness.

Consuming maybe 800 calories a day and being a three-sport athlete do not mix well. I came close to blacking out when sitting in class, and I was sick for most of the year. I would retain a common cold for three weeks, be “healthy” for a week, and then catch another bug. By denying my body of necessary nutrients, I was impairing my body’s ability to fight off infection and illness.

What saved me, of all things, was the dissolution of my relationship. After everything I tried and went through, my efforts were not good enough. That is when I took a good look at what I was doing to myself, and realized how toxic the relationship was.

Although my eyes were opened to the form of self-abuse my depression had taken, my dark cloud was still hovering. My road to recovery was just beginning, and it would be years before I would once again bask in the sunlight.

Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces

Signs...some people look for signs at every turn, while others believe that fate will have its way, no matter how observant you are. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that God sends you signals when you need them most. Yesterday, I received a much needed signal.

Those who know me best know that the past few weeks have been pretty rough. The stress of losing my grandmother and being betrayed by someone close to me have taken their toll on me. Emotionally, I am completely drained, and my patience is shot. It is hard to get up in the morning to go to work, all I want to do is just stay in bed and not do anything.

I look forward to the weekend to escape from the rush and just relax. Yesterday, however, there was no time to relax. My co-worker was at home with his family to celebrate his son’s first birthday, which left me as last reporter standing. And with Olson’s Mud Run, the Edgerton Quilt Show and The Piano Men concert all taking place, my weekend was going to be quite busy.

I stopped by the Edgerton Quilt Show at 10 a.m., and of course forgot my camera. So I spent a couple hours looking and making notes of what I wanted to get pictures of when I returned. Around noon I headed home for lunch. After that, I went to Olson’s Mud Run and took photos for about an hour before returning to the quilt show to take pictures.

By that time, I was pretty exhausted and wanted a nap. However, I had to head back to Olson’s Mud Run to take more pictures, then return home and get ready to attend The Piano Men concert. All this running around was draining.

As I was driving back to Olson’s Mud Run, I was stopped in my tracks. Right before me was a vision in orange and red, a majestic tree with leaves of flame. What really struck me was even though the tree reached tall and proud into the sky, very few of its leaves had fallen. Unlike some of the trees next to it, there were no large bare patches.

The tree that stopped me in my tracks

Even though time was of the essence and I still had a lot of work to do, I knew I had to stop and take a picture of this tree. I pulled onto the side of the road and crossed the street to get a picture of the fiery foliage.

Same tree, different view

As I walked around the tree, I noticed something. I was immediately drawn to the red and orange, but the view from the opposite side was a vibrant yellow.

Upon closer inspection, I spotted green and yellow leaves, even Wisconsin trees love the Green Bay Packers!

Even nature loves to cheer "Go, Pack, Go!"

Before I knew it, I had spent 20 minutes photographing this one tree. I was calm and relaxed and my stress levels had decreased. This tree was more than just a tree, it was a sign.

It was a sign that in my hectic life, I needed to slow down. Whether it is stopping and smelling the roses or stopping and enjoying the fall colors, there is always time to take a breather.

Beautiful fall foliage

By taking the time to explore the tree’s many angles, I discovered there was more to the tree than first glance. Had I not stopped to take a picture, all I would have seen was that first passing glance. Beautiful yes, but it was just a part of the story. There is more to life than initial meetings and first glances.

Stop and smell the roses...err appreciate nature's beauty

It is not often that I see something that stops me in my tracks, that makes me stop everything I am doing. That is my fault. I spend so much time rushing from one thing to another, I do not spend time just looking. That tree was more than a sign, it was two-part lesson.

Fiery beauty close to the sky

Lesson 1: Slow down. Life can get hectic, but do not be so busy that you let the simple joys and beauty pass you by.

Lesson 2: Dig deeper. Explore things from all angles. What may appear beautiful or unique from one side may look different when viewed from another angle. Viewing something from another angle does not make it less beautiful, you just appreciate and value it even more for its unique traits and characteristics.

The small gift that saved my life

The journey of one’s life is a rocky one. There are times when everything seems perfect and you are floating on cloud nine. Then things begin crashing around you, and you wonder if you will ever be happy again. 

UW-Whitewater Track

My childhood was a rocky one. I was abused by my classmates in middle school. A Catholic in a Lutheran school can be very lonely, and I came to expect punches and kicks instead of helping hands. I was the black sheep in the herd, and spent most of my middle school years very lonely and scared. 

When I got to high school, things were good for a while. But peer pressure began to cave in my senior year. In a desperate attempt to win the love of my boyfriend, I strove to improve every aspect of my life, from music and athletics to academics and my personal appearance. It took a toll and I became anorexic. I again felt alone. I was that insecure middle school girl again, desperately wanting to fit in. Life was dark, and I contemplated suicide, not for the first time, and not for the last. I never followed through on my dark acts, but I felt very isolated, lonely and unloved. 

I found a ray of hope in college, made new friends and finally felt accepted, just the way I was. By that time I was no longer anorexic, although I was a size 8 for the first time in my life. I still had the body of the anorexic I left behind just a few months prior. 

I made it on my university’s track and field team, and during the Christmas season, we participated in Secret Santa. My Secret Santa, who I have since forgotten, gave me a refrigerator magnet with a quote about happiness on it. I promptly put in on my fridge and forgot about it. Although I moved around a bit in college, I never lost that magnet.

Relationships took their toll on me. I dated a guy who used me and forced me to do things I did not want to. I did my best to forget. I dated another guy for 16 months. We had our ups and downs, but when the relationship failed, I fell to pieces. I did not want to live anymore. My depression came back in full force, along with the suicidal thoughts, the sense of hopelessness and despair. I was diagnosed with insomnia and had to drop out of college for the remainder of the semester. 

A few weeks later, the boyfriend and I got back together. I was happy, but had a hard time trusting him. Then a friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver. The waves of anger poured over me, pain, loss, grief, despair. I fell away from God, thought he was evil. Four months later, my relationship fell apart for good. 

When I graduated college, I was lost. I remember thinking “When will my life turn around? When will I be happy again?” 

Then during the summer of 2011, I was walking through my kitchen and something made me stop and look at a magnet on my fridge. It was that same magnet that I was given more than six years ago in college. 

“For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life, but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” - Souza

The $3 magnet that saved my life

Although I had it for years, I never really read it until that day, really absorbed the truth of those words. When I did, my eyes and mind were opened. I needed to stop waiting for God to make me happy, stop waiting for things to be perfect. Things were never going to be perfect, and happiness would never arrive. Happiness had to be made, be found. If I wanted to be happy, I needed to stop waiting to be happy and instead do things that made me happy. It was my job to make myself happy, no one else’s. 

That magnet probably cost about $3, but it gave me my life back. My perspective shifted. During the past three years, life has been pretty rocky. I have been lied to, mistreated and manipulated by those of the opposite sex. There have been points where life was pure hell, and financial stress caused by my last job took its toll on me. I learned - again - that I should avoid roommates at all cost. 

And yet, even when things were bad, I still found ways to be happy. I tried my hands at equestrain vaulting, went skydiving, rappelled down a 13-story building and even participated in a military workshop, where I was able to drive a $250,000 piece of military robotics. Life was not perfect, but the burden I had carried with me in my youth was lifted. 

I learned a lesson that many people learn much later in life, or never learn at all. Life will throw you curve balls, hard balls, and maybe even a couple bowling balls. You will get knocked on your ass. There will be pain. It will not look the same to everyone, but you will get knocked down and collect a few bruises. If you dwell on the pain, you will be miserable. You will get lost in the abyss. 

I wish I could remember who my Secret Santa was all those years ago, wish I could thank her and tell her how much her gift meant to me. It was a few dollars for her, but it gave me my life back. She was my angel, and her gift saved my life.

The key to happiness is not having a perfect life. There is no such thing as a perfect life. It is finding the beauty in the world and appreciating your blessings. It is doing things that bring you joy, doing things that make you marvel at the wonders of the universe. It could be running a 5K where you get hit with bright color bombs, scaling a mountain or even just enjoying a beautiful aria. Whatever makes you happy, embrace it. 

And whatever you do, remember “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

27 Highlights of my 27th year

Well, it has been quite a year. I have really enjoyed being 27. After all, it is not every day that you turn three cubed! The last time I was an age cubed was my golden birthday (8), and I will not be an aged cubed again until I am 64! 

I turned 28 on Oct. 8, and as I was reflecting on the past year, I wanted to share some of the amazing and fun moments during by three-cubed year. There was laughter and tears, but at the end of the day, it realy is a wonderful life. 

1. Climbing my first mountain, Mt. Kilimanjaro. Along the way, I learned a lot about myself, God and teamwork. I did not make it all the way to the summit, but ascending to 16,404 feet is not bad for my first mountain climb!

The Mt. Kilimanjaro group on our last day.

2. Travels in Tanzania. I spent three wonderful weeks in Tanzania, assisting the locals with medical and educational mission work. I worked in the New Life Band School, a local birthing clinic and even sat in on two medical workshops. 

3. Meeting my student, Onory Godfrey. I have sponsored Onory’s education since August 2013. A future educator, it was good to hear about how hard he is working at his own education.

4. Going on my first safari. I spent two days on safari at Lake Manyara National Park and Ngorongoro Crater. I spotted a baby elephant, giraffes, cape buffalo, lionesses, baboons, various birds, hippos, zebras, wildebeest and even blue-balled monkeys.

5. New friends. My Tanzanian friends taught me about life, friendship and appreciation for the simple things in life. So often I sweat the small things, but the truth is, my life is pretty great. If people spent more time being happy with what they have instead of focusing on what they do not have, the world would be a happier place.

6. Ugly Sweater Run. My sister and her family joined my friends and I at the Ugly Sweater Run last year. For the first time, my dog Artemis was able to run with me. He sported his own ugly sweater and ran by my side. We ran into a couple other dogs wearing the exact same ugly sweater as Artemis, and had a couple “Who Wore It Better?” moments. 

7. Shopping for my ugly sweater. My friend Chris Rogers joined me during the Ugly Sweater Run as well. We had a hilarious time shopping for our ugly sweaters at Ragstock in Madison. I could not stop laughing as we browsed the racks looking for the most hideous ugly sweaters we could find. 

Artemis, me and Kaity Klemp at Run, Santa, Run

8. Run, Santa, Run. I joined team Cole and the Gang for Run, Santa, Run last December. While I always enjoy running with them, I was blown away when I ran into my friend Katie Klemp at the start of the race. I had a little skirt mishap at the start, but caught up to her soon. We finished the race together, two elves in a pod. Artemis again joined me, this time wearing a Santa hat.

9. Losing my apartment and work keys. My New Year’s Day began on a rocky start. And while losing one’s keys for three days may not sound like it belongs on a Best Moments list, finding them using a rented metal detector was pretty bad-ass. 

10. Tough Mudder. After three years of wanting to participate, I finally completed Tough Mudder Wisconsin on Sept. 7, 2014. I survived Electroshock Therapy, Arctic Enema, 12-foot walls, mountains of mud and more. Definitely the hardest 11.22 miles of my life, but I am proud to say I am Tough Mudder Strong!

11. Bad-ass might be the word of the year. I spent Valentine’s Day at the Deerfield Indoor Pistol and Archery Ran

Target practice with a Tommy gun on V-Day.

ge. While other people were spending the day with loved ones, I celebrated the 85th anniversary of the Valentine’s Day Massacre with some target practice with a Tommy gun at the range. 

12. Mohawk for Mudder. If you are going to be bad-ass, you need a bad-ass haircut. During Tough Mudder, the BIC company was doing mohawks for Wounded Warrior Project. Each haircut was $10 to the non-profit, with a goal of 10,000 mohawks and $100,000. It was a little nerve-wracking to see my shoulder length hair chopped off, but I totally rock the mohawk!

13. New love. At the end of January, I was introduced to a former Army recruit. We had virtually nothing in common, except for a love of Volbeat, but enjoyed each other’s company. Ultimately the relationship did not work out, but I enjoyed a few very happy months, and I wish him the best.

Seeing Volbeat in concert in LaCrosse

14. A Warrior’s Call. My love of Volbeat was cemented in April when Leo and I traveled to LaCrosse to see them perform in concert. My ears were ringing for a couple days afterward, but nothing beats being down on the floor, about 15 feet from the stage, when the band is playing “Lola Montez.” 

15. Musical Horns. Waiting for 45 minutes to leave the parking lot after the Volbeat concert might seem like an inconvenience, but I was very amused when I heard four or five cars honking “Jingle Bells,” round robin style. Sometimes the small things in life can bring much pleasure. 

16. Em’s Treats. The ice cream man comes to town. Speaking of simple pleasures, the child in me was delighted when a local couple opened an ice cream truck in Edgerton. Hot summer days were just a bit cooler when I heard the chimes announcing Em’s Treats was coming down my block. Sometimes it was a Choco Taco, other days I craved an ice cream Twix, but either way, the tasty treat made my weekends better. 

17. Concerts in the Park. Once a month during the summer, Edgerton hosts Concerts in the Park at Commons Park. The last one in August featured a big band group, and they ended with “Sing, Sing, Sing.” So what that I was there for work and the horns were a swinging from side to side. My camera goes down and the dancing shoes come out when the band is playing my song! 

My neuron

18. The Neuron Project. At the end of January, I attended my first Lily’s Luau in Madison. While I was there, Lily’s Fund for Epilepsy Research announced the Neuron Project, an art installation at UW-Madison that raises money for epilepsy research. I saw the design and knew I had to be a part of it. I purchased a small neuron for $1,000, to be paid off during a 2-year period. It is absolutely stunning. As someone who was diagnosed 25 years ago with epilepsy, it is very close to my heart, and I am honored to be part of something that is a symbol fo beauty and hope for future generations. 

19. Rotarian Rachel. A few months after moving to Edgerton, I decided to join the local Rotary group. Although attending the Tuesday meetings at noon can be a challenge with my schedule, being part of Rotary, especially on behalf of Hope 2 Others, gives me a sense of purpose and pride. Helping others brings me much happiness. You really do get more than you give.

Dash for Diabetes with Nicole

20. Dash for Diabetes. I will admit, I am not much for the “normal” races, the ones without mud, electricity or obstacles. But in support of the local Edgerton Lions group, I signed up for Dash for Diabetes in May. The 5K race is pretty straightforward, but Nicole Matts Jackson and I strutted our stuff. We donned purple tutus for the race, and I also wore a purple fro and moustache sunglasses. Not only did we look absolutely FABULOUS, but I happened to win my age group! It just goes to show that you can be stylin’ and fast! 

21. Olson’s Mud Run. Last October, I attended a local event called Olson’s Mud Run. Hosted by Tom Olson, it brings together big trucks and mud, lots and lots of mud. During last year’s event, I even got to ride in one of the trucks. We got stuck right away, but it was a blast! On top of that, my photo collage of the event earned Honorable Mention during this year’s National Newspaper Association contest. The event will take place again this Saturday, Oct. 18!

22. Oh, What a Night! As part of my 27th birthday celebration, my parents took me to see Jersey Boys in Madison! A tale of triumph and tragedy, fame, fortune and loss, the songs were expertly performed and we were tapping our toes along with the music of Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons. 

23. A Night of Giving Hope 2 Others. The event came together very quick, in a matter of a couple months, and the end result was an elegant affair. African dancing and music, food and we raffled off two beautiful gemstone pendants. I spent the entire evening taking photos and making sure everything ran smoothly, but I did get to enjoy one glass of champagne and some of the food. When I die, I totally want to be buried with Africa meatballs and bacon-wrapped dates.

24. Burpee 5K. Lord knows I like to challenge myself. On Sept. 21, just one day after completing my fourth Rockman Challenge triathlon in Watertown, I participated in the Burpee 5K. Team Cole and the Gang met at the Oregon High School track and collectively did 3.2 miles of burpees. I personally did 3/4 of a mile of burpees. For someone that struggled to 25 of them during a workout for our Mt. Kilimanjaro climb, doing burpees for two hours straight was pretty brutal. And yet, it just goes to show there is nothing I will not consent to do, and my body has been very agreeable with these crazy challenges of late. 

Axe-throwing with Leo

25. Monet to Gogh. Anyone who has seen my drawings knows that I am not an artist. Yet when Janesville artist Valerie Saxer held a Monet to Gogh painting class at The Depot Cafe, I was all over it. As a result, a painting of “Starry Night” is now proudly hanging in my living room. It just goes to show that with a little patience and guidance, the inner artist in all of us can be released. I had to miss the second class a couple weeks ago due to work, but I am hoping I can attend another one in the future.

26. Axe-throwing. Just because I have to work does not mean it cannot be fun. While covering the annual Tobacco Days festival in Edgerton at the end of July, I tried my hand at the axe-throwing competition. I was not one of the finalists, but I had a blast chucking axes across the grass. I think mine made it 77 feet, while the top female was more than 100 feet. Life is about trying new things, and when you can throw axes with your friends, all the better! 

My new car, a 2014 Ford Escape!

27. Vroom vroom. I hit a major life milestone, just 12 days before my 28th birthday, when I purchased my first car! I am the proud owner of a 2014 Ford Escape, that had all of 37 miles on it when I drove it off the lot. I first talked with my parents about purchasing a new car in 2010, but until I got my job with the Edgerton Reporter in August 2013, buying a new car was out of the question. But my current job has given me financial security and peace of mind, and I am so excited to finally have a car all of my own!

The past year has been filled with excitement and new adventures. While I know I cannot afford to travel to Africa every year, I am determined to continue breaking outside of my comfort zone and try new things. I already started my 28th year with a high-flying hang gliding adventure. In the meantime, I know that “My future is so bright, I gotta wear shades!”

My final day in Tanzania

Well, this is it. My last day in Tanzania has come to an end. I accompanied Karen Klemp, Nancy Comello and Amy Martin to the mother and baby clinic in Arusha today. The three of them hosted another Healthy Births and Babies and Helping Babies Breathe class. 

Practicing newborn resuscitation during Helping Babies Breathe

The classes focused on some good birthing positions, some complications that may arise during birth, such as shoulder dystentia, what to do if the umbilical cord is wrapped tightly around the neck, and what to do if the baby is not breathing.

Amy, Karen and Nancy stressed the importance of not cutting the umbilical cord right away. Leaving the cord attached for a minute or two after birth can prevent anemia in the first 6 months. They also told the gathered midwives that putting the baby against the mother’s skin helps keep the baby warm. Two very simple things, but they can make the difference in a young baby’s first moments and days of life. 

The second part of the class focused on what to do if a baby is not breathing. Amy told the midwives that if a baby is born and starts crying, that is good. But if the baby is not crying, they should clear the mouth of mucus and dry it. If the baby is still not breathing on its own, they should start doing newborn resuscitation, or rescue breaths. 

With about eight practice babies available, each of the 15 midwives in attendance was able to practice the skill. This is just the first class the trio will be hosting. They are planning to return to the clinic on Monday before they travel to Dar es Salaam, where they will host similar classes.

The graduates with Leah Narans (left) and Karen Klemp (right)

After the classes and lunch, we headed back to Eliza’s. Jane and I are sadly flying out tonight, and we needed to finish packing before heading to Ondo’s for the graduation ceremony. Leah Narans’ Medical Sciences and Lab Skills students successfully completed their five weeks course, and we had a fun ceremony to recognize their success. Leah said with all they learned during her class, they would be ready to draw blood at a hospital. What a blessing it was to have her volunteer her time and her summer to teach the students skills that can translate into a profession.

Speaking of students, I was finally able to meet the student I sponsor, Onory Godfrey, the other day. I began sponsoring his education at the New Life Band School last August, and my parents agreed to split the cost of his education with me this year. He is doing very well in school and would like to one day become a teacher. My parents sent me with a Brewers hat and Packers shirt to give him, and he loved the gifts. 

There is a very distinct difference between high school students in America and those in Tanzania. In the United States, high school students usually graduate at age 17 or 18. The average age of a graduate at the New Life Band School is 19-24. That is because their education may be interupted. If a student cannot afford to go to school, they may have to take a year off before they can find the funds. The big thing is getting good grades to continue their education. 

I have traded phone numbers with my student, and I hope to stay in contact and hear about how his education is going. 

My student, Onory Godfrey

Here I am, sitting in the Kilimanjaro Airport with Jane Krogstad, and I cannot believe that my two and a half week trip is at an end. It has been an amazing experience, and I am very sad to be leaving. I know I must return, but I am afraid that I will not see my own country the same way. 

Everyone in Tanzania is so happy, so cheerful, and they do not have the same opportunities I do as an American. At the same time, it seems like the people of Tanzania are happier than many people in America. 

Well, our flight from Kilimanjaro to Istanbul will be departing in about an hour. We have about a 3 hour layover in Istanbul before the final leg back to Chicago. Even though we fly out at 2:10 a.m. on Saturday, July 12, we will be arriving in Chicago by 5:30 p.m., and I should be back in Janesville by 8:30 p.m. World magic, I like to call it. 

To everyone who has followed along on my journey, thank you. I have immensely enjoyed my trip, and am glad to be able to share a bit of it with all of you. I know it is not a matter of if I will be back, but when. My goal? Summer 2016!

Serving others and more shopping

Nickson with the local pastor

With every passing minute, my time in Tanzania comes to a close. On Thursday, July 10 I visited Nickson’s village. While there we visited a local school. The children loved having their picture taken, and seeing the photos brought smiles and laughter. Amy Martin spent time with the youngest group of children, and they loved playing peek-a-boo with her.

Trish Helland just keeps on adopting children. In addition to her African grandbabies, Denis and David Deo, she was snuggling with some of the school children. I would not be surprised if she brought some kids home! It is a good thing they all have mothers, otherwise the teacher would be like, where have half my class gone? LOL

Elizabeth and I got a ride on a motorcycle from the school to the church. About two and a half years ago, Muslim extremists burned down a Christian church and destroyed everything inside. They are now rebuilding the church using brick instead of straw. The bishop of the church forgave them after it burned, and as a result some of the Muslim men and women converted to being Christian. We all joined hands and prayed for the new church, which is still being built, and that it will give new life and faith to the people who will be using it. I hope that the tensions will be eased and there will be no more problems between the groups. Apparently this was an isolated event, and in most places there is no conflict between the Christians and the Muslims. It just proves that no matter where you go, there will always be rabble-rousers. 

Handing out Webkinz animals from the Wizas

We also handed out supplies to the local children, including flip-flops, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and stuffed animals. I want to give huge kudos to my friend Jeff Wiza, and his wife, Hilary, for donating their unplayed with Webkinz plush animals. The children absolutely loved them. 

It is kind of amazing to see what the children have as toys. Like I mentioned earlier, the Deo boys were playing soccer with a wadded up ball of paper. An $11 soccer ball brought them so much joy. The other day, the two boys were playing with a truck made from cardboard and old soda bottle tops. In a world where our children have iPhones and iPads, Smart Boards and Wii, it is truly humbling to see simple things bring such glee to others. We are so happy for all the generous gifts that have been donated. 

Before heading back to Arusha, we stopped to do some shopping in Nickson’s village. When I first headed on this trip, my parents made a generous donation to my trip. My dad asked “so if I give money for you to go on vacation, it is tax-deductible?” While this trip has been a vacation of sorts from my actual real-life job, it is not really a vacation. It has been work, covering the Helping Babies Breathe and Healthy Births and Babies classes; helping paint whiteboards at the New Life Band School; serving needy families; being a part of the education at the school; even climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. 

Young Tanzanian schoolchildren. They know how to melt the heart.

And when we shop at local places like those in Nickson’s village, all that money stays local and puts food on the plates. When we stay with host families, we pay them for putting us up, and that money helps their own families. So while it has been a relief to get away from my regular life, everything we do directly benefits the local people.

I have been incredibly blessed to get to better know the families of the New Life Band, to see for myself what Tanzania is all about, and to use my talents to share the much-needed work. 

Check back tomorrow for what will most likely be my last blog post from my trip.

On Safari!

Lions, and tigers and bears, oh my! I am just kidding, there were no tigers or bears on safari, although I did see a couple lions! My adventures in Tanzania are coming to a close, and as I prepare to say goodbye to one of the most beautiful and amazing places of the world, I appreciate that it will be on a high note. 

On Tuesday, July 8, our group traveled to Lake Manyara for a safari. While there, I came within a few handspan of a group of tembo, or elephants! They literally passed within mere feet of our car! When you think of seeing animals in their natural habitat, you do not think of seeing them up close and personal, right next to your vehicle. But there were zebra that were right alongside our path, and monkeys that were in the middle of the road and alongside the car. 

One of the most comedic was the blue-balled monkey. I’m not sure what it got into, but those monkey balls were almost a glowing neon blue! The mother and baby monkeys were my favorite, and some of those monkeys sure could pose! Lake Manyara also offered us a breathtaking view of giraffes, hippos (OK, they were not so breathtaking) and different types of birds.

The safari continued on Wednesday, July 9 at Ngorongoro Crater. When we arrived at the park entrance, we were told to watch the baboons and not leave any windows or doors open. After picking up a couple souvenirs inside, I headed back to the car to get ready to enter the park. That is when I was double-teamed. 

I spotted a monkey perching atop the side mirrors of a vehicle. I went for the camera around my neck, and my mind was focusing on the photo. Another baboon took advantage of my distracted vision, and snatched the brown bag with my souvenirs right out of my hand! He probably thought there was food in there. 

My Kilimanjaro bottle tumbled out and was rescued, although my postcards and earrings were still in the bag. Lewis charged at the baboon and scared it away, rescuing the rest of my souvenirs in the process. Leave it to me to get robbed by baboons. 

After the morning’s excitment, we explored the crater and its wildlife. There were more zebras of course, but no giraffes. Apparently it is very hard for them to get down into the crater. There were plenty of wildebeest roaming around, some new birds to photograph and what looked like impala. We also spotted....lions....about 15 feet from our car. Thanks to my uncle’s camera lens, I was able to get some really great photographs. 

We also had lunch next to the hippo pool. Boy, did they sure put on a show for us, what with the constant surfacing and swimming. Although my boyfriend says hippos are jerks and very territorial in the water, I will admit that the baby hippo swimming with its mother was pretty cute.

Right before lunch we spotted some lions crouching by a pool. It looked like they were setting up to wait for their own lunch. We saw some zebra nearby and figured they were waiting for one to come close enough to pounce. I did feel a little weird, anxiously waiting to see a lion hunt and kill its prey, but as it turns out, was not the only one of our group feeling that way. It kind of felt like the animal kingdom equivalent of a frat party and “chug, chug, chug!” But lions are patient creatures, far more patient than a group of tourists, lol. It is a good thing we did not wait for the lions to pounce, they were still lying in wait when we came back after lunch! 

It was pretty amazing to see all the animals coexisting in the crater. I was amazed to learn that zebra and wildebeest will travel together. Apparently they zebra can better sense a predator. We also saw two zebras with their head positioned over the other’s back. To me it seemed almost like a zebra hug, but they apparently do it to look out for each other, like friendly sentinels. 

As we were leaving the crater, we gave some of the Maasai children some food from our lunch. They were very grateful. We met a second group of children and they were very thirsty. In exchange for a bag of popcorn to share and a bottle of water for each of the three children, we were able to take their picture. 

Seeing animals that I have never seen in person before, or if I have, from behind the confines of a zoo, was unbelievable. It was like being transported into The Lion King. (Oh, and by the way, Simba is Swahili for lion, while Rafiki means friend. Way to go Disney, you got it right.) It was during the safari at Lake Manyara that it really set in: I am in Africa. And in that moment, I knew I was in love. 

I am in love with the people, and with the amazing friends I have made. I am in love with the culture and the colors and the animals. I do not have much time left, and I know that going back to Wisconsin and Edgerton will be hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I truly wish I could stay and live here, and if it were not for my dog, Artemis, I probably would try to find a way to move there in the next year or so. But alas, I love my pooch to much to permanently leave him. It would be like moving and putting your child up for adoption.

I have enjoyed the slow African pace and Hakuna Matata (no worries!). It is such a change from my everyday life of deadlines, deadlines, deadlines! Going from Africa time to the hustle and bustles of my regular life is going to be like jumping in a pool on a hot summer day: very brisk and a wake-up call. But I know that it is not a matter of IF I come back, but WHEN I come back. I found a part of myself and my heart in Tanzania, and I know that it will be here when I return.