A Most Memorable 4th

Independence Day.

What images come to mind?

Picnics?

Perhaps.

Parades?

A must.

Fireworks?

Most definitely. 

A ride in an ambulance to the nearest hospital after a 9,000-inch race?

Only if you’re me.

Alas, my July 4 celebrations were somewhat soured last Wednesday when I took ill after my participation in the Whiney Hiney race in Token Creek. The short race was over with in a mere 75 seconds, with yours truly placing fourth (yes there were more than four people! I beat the perky brunette with seconds to spare at the end...). For you people who remain blissfully unaware of the Hiney Run, it is a 9,036 inch run - ass first - up the hill by Paddle Inn in Token Creek. While the first 4,500 or so inches aren’t that bad, the second half is quite tough, and the last quarter is brutal. 

I must have been ill-prepared this year for my battle with Mother Nature and Mithros the Sun God because within 5 minutes of finishing, I started to feel quite ill. Within a half hour, I was experiencing stomach cramps, felt a little nauseaus, was sweating profusely and was battling to stay conscious. 

Some good Samaritans at the nearby bar stayed by me and wound up calling the Blooming Grove Ambulance Service. As my semi-conscious state laid eyes on Dane County Sheriff Dave Mahoney and two of his deputies, all I could think of was “God, I feel awful,” followed by “I hope someone else is around to take photos today.”

As I was moved onto a stretcher and loaded into the back of the ambulance, I started shaking uncontrolably as by this time the sweat and lack of hydration had forced goosebumps along my arms and I was struck by chills. 

The irony of covering someone stricken with heat exhaustion with two heating blankets did not escape me as the ambulance pulled away and headed to nearby St. Mary’s. Nor did the fact that just the day before, my article about heat-related illnesses and ways to beat the heat was published in The Star. 

The news just came coming when I was informed by the cute EMT that he was unable to insert an IV into my arm - apparently I was dehydrated to the point that my veins had collapsed. 

When I arrived at the hospital, I was finally treated to a wondrous IV drip that served to rehydrate me to the point I could walk and function pain-free (always a good thing). At one point I must have slept because when I finally woke up around 1:15 in the afternoon, I was treated to a walk around the hospital - IV bag in tow - and while I was still a little chilly without my three heat blankets - I was deemed well enough to go home. After a lovely Union Cab ride back to the grounds - I drove home and spent the rest of the day chugging water and Gatorade and relaxing in Skies of Arcadia bliss.

It did take a few days for me to fully recover, but Thursday was particularly hard. I was still dehydrated to the point my hips and feet hurt when I moved and I was quite pale after walking the dog to the end of the block and back - but after consuming I don’t know how many gallons of water and electrolyte-charged Gatorade, I was finally back to feeling recharged yesterday....just in time to work probably 30 hours between today and tomorrow! Oh joy!

The true travesty though? I will forever wonder if any of the Wiser Hineys donned pillows of giant fake buttocks for their ass-backward race....sigh...

And people think my mind is a clusterfuck...

Pardon my rant, but I need to vent. After working a 12-hour day, and having to sit through a 2.5 hour meeting and getting back home at 10:20 p.m., there is nothing, and I do mean nothing, that I love more than having my neighbor knock on my door and bitch at me for helping out a friend.

To recap, my friend, we’ll call her Jane, had a roommate issue and needed to get ouf of her place in a hurry, so she moved in with me and hopefully by June the 2-bedroom we will be renting will be ready to move in. In the meantime, we’ve been using my garage to store her stuff that there isn’t space for in my 1-bedroom. 

So at 10:45 p.m. on Monday, there is a loud knock at my door. I peek out the peephole and my neighbor is there. I open the door and he says in a snotty, indignant, righteous tone, “I’ve been nice up til now, but you need to use your garage because I don’t have a space to park my second car.” 

Bear in mind this was the same neighbor who for the first few weeks when they moved in, his young son would open my door without knocking and just come into my apartment. And just two days ago, I was packing my dog’s kennel and as I was getting ready to go right down the stairs, he zooms ahead of me and then instead of holding the door for me at the bottom, slams it in my face.

To truly appreciate the situation, here are a few facts:

1) I live in a 6-unit apartment complex;

2) Of the 6 units, 4 are 2-bedrooms and the other two are 1-bedrooms;

3) Currently, four of the tenants have one car, just myself and my neighbor have two cars; and

4) Each unit has one garage, and there are four parking spaces outside, for a grand total of 10 parking spaces.

Now, you’d think with 10 parking spaces and 8 vehicles between the six units, there would be more than enough space for all the vehicles, even with the fact that one of the tenants does not park in his garage, ever. He instead uses the outside space. But my neighbor, who must think he is King Richard reincarnate, is too good to use the empty parking space that is about 25 feet away from his door. If only I knew that I was living royalty, I would have sworn fealty the moment he moved in. But alas, I was completely oblivious to the fact. It’s funny, I’ve lived here for two years and never had an issue with any of my neighbors, but this guy is here two months and apparently think he is entitled to be king of the roost. Heaven forbid that he park in the available parking space on the other side of the lot, all of 25 feet away. Because heaven forbid he have to walk an extra 10 second and risk getting attacked by the the Night Rider, who roams family neighborhoods by night, punishing the self-entitled. 

And honestly, unless your neighbors are being loud, unruly and disruptive, there is absolutely no reason to bang on their door at 11 at night. It’s something that can wait until morning. And when his kids were coming into my apartment without knocking, I politely mentioned it to them, I didn’t throw a gigantic hissy-fit like an overgrown two-year old. But what can I say? Some people have class, others don’t. 

So thank you dear neighbor, because up until now I had no idea you were next in line for the throne after Prince William. That even though I am rarely home, am never loud or disruptive, but friendly, have never been rude to any of my neighbors, you for some reason have managed to find a reason to be a jerk to me. But then again, some people just cannot see past their own issues, their own selfish needs, are unwilling to think of someone else. So I hope you find peace, dear neighbor, knowing that you truly are the reason society is going in a downward spiral. 

Courage

Courage - “The ability to do something that frightens one; strength in the face of pain or grief.”

As I go through life, I can’t help but feel disappointed in some of the people I have come to know. I was taught to face life and all of its challenges with strength, faith and courage. When things seem to be going horribly wrong, when pain surrounds you and the light of a better day seems to abandon you, fight through it and create your own light. But what is one to do when you feel like that light has permanently abandoned you - when no matter how hard you look, how many corners you upturn, you can’t find even the tiniest sliver?

No matter what life has thrown at me, I have tried my hardest to put on a brave face and conquer every challenge. A little more than a year ago, I was suffering - and I met someone who pulled me up by my bootstraps, who made me believe in myself again. I used to think that person was the strongest of all, but now I see my hero is in fact weaker than I. While he handles some trials with strength and grace, when it comes to the hardest ones, the ones where he may actually get hurt, he runs away. And by running away, he hurts everyone else.

As I sit here, I am left to wonder when exactly my strength will run out. For I have handled pain, pressure and crushing defeat day after day after day, for years. And while I continue to try and deal with life’s cruel, harsh blows, I find myself struggling more and more to keep my head above water. Though I try my hardest to save myself, I know deep down that I don’t have the strength. I don’t have the heart. My conviction is waning. I truly believe that somewhere out there is my saving grace, but will it arrive in time?

Lucky another year!

I know I know, it’s been forever again since my last update. I guess one of my New Year’s resolutions is going to have to be to post at least one blog posting a week.

On Friday, Dec. 16 the University of Wisconsin - Whitewater Warhawks challenged the Mount Union Raiders for the NCAA DIII National Football Championship title in the 39th Annual Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl (I know, it’s a mouthful). This was the seventh consecutive year the two teams have faced off for the crown.

Once again, I signed up to travel on the fan bus to cheer my alma mater on. However, this year I had to do it silently as I actually had press credentials! Yah!

I’m not going to go into too much detail here - for the full story, click here - but covering the national title game (and Whitewater’s subsequent win - the third in a row) for my newspaper was amazing. I spent the entire first half of the game up in the press box. The second half, however, was spent, wait for it...on the sidelines taking photos. I was so close I could smell the sweat on those fit footballers.

Even though I couldn’t actually cheer on the home team...verbally...I was mentally sending them positive thoughts. Unlike previous years, it was a low-scoring game, which made it nervewracking to the very end. In spite of a late comeback by Mount Union, Whitewater managed to hold onto their lead and ended the game 13-10.

I am now four for four in Stagg Bowl appearances. Although Whitewater and Mount Union have faced off for the national football title every year since 2005, I have only signed up to go on the fan bus and watch the game in 2007, 2009, 2010 and 2011 - the same four years Whitewater has won. I know, I know, they have superior coaches, skill, talent and a lot of hard work - but I still maintain that maybe I bring just that little bit of extra luck that makes my alma mater the best in the nation for another year.

Next time: 2011 - a year in review

Citizen Wittrock

Back in September I applied to be a member of the 2011 Fall Citizen’s Academy with the Sun Prairie Police Department. After a background check, I was approved, and class officially began on Thursday, Sept. 22.

Over the past eight weeks I have learned about various aspects of police life, including building searches, drugs and gangs. The curriculum included hands-on experience as well, such as when it was time to head to the Deerfield Indoor Shooting Range for some target practice, to the Columbus Speedway for Emergency Vehicle Operator Course [EVOC] driving or to the downtown police station for my

ride-along with Sun Prairie Police Officer Mike Hartman.

The experience has definitely been an eye-opener for me. During a dispatch ride-along, one of the Sun Prairie dispatchers, Tina Gebhard, made the comment that traffic stops and domestic abuse calls are the two most dangerous times for an officer.

“You never know who is in the car or if they have weapons,” Gebhard told me.

Although I never really stopped to think about it before, it makes sense.

An officer pulls over a vehicle and not knowing who or what is in the vehicle, makes an approach. While most traffic stops are routine, with law-abiding and rational citizens such as myself, the potential for danger is there, which is why Sun Prairie dispatchers keep in contact with officers during calls.

“My most important duty here is ensuring that everyone goes home safe at night,” Gebhard added.

Even though I have enjoyed everything, my favorite parts were when I was able to actually try the things out for myself, such as when I got to do vehicle maneuvers and obstacle courses in EVOC driving, or when my class headed to the range for target practice. Defense and Arrest Techniques [DAAT] training was also a blast - it’s not often you get to drop a police officer and former Marine.

I’m not going to rehash every last bit of it, because 1) it would be a lot of typing and 2) I’ve already done that during my weekly articles for the Sun Prairie Star.

If you want a more in-depth review of my experiences as Citizen Wittrock, click on the following links:

Firearms and EVOC driving: http://bit.ly/tRuTC2

Gangs, Drugs and How to Stay Safe: http://bit.ly/s6Mp5A

Defense and Arrest Techniques [DAAT] and Sun Prairie dispatch: http://bit.ly/rJ6uOk

OWI, Detective Bureau and Internet Crimes: http://bit.ly/u3jVO1

Sun Prairie EMS/FIre: http://bit.ly/sDlxqJ

My graduation ceremony is scheduled for Thursday, Nov. 10. It’s sure to be a blast, and we will find out who won the Golden Cone Award - given to the person who hit the most cones during EVOC driving Oct. 1.

A Pox on Politicians

The other day while watching the news, I heard that Republican legislators, headed by Rep. Voss, want to change the state’s recall policy. Recent policy states elected officials can be recaled for any reason, but a petition with the names of 25 percent of individuals within the representative’s district - and the names have to be collected within 60 days. To me, collecting that amount of signatures - literally thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of names - in two months - seems like it would be challenge enough for the process.

Republicans however, want to make it so a representative can only be recalled if they have committed a felony or an ethical violation.

This proposed change reeks of political agenda and party-pandering. To me, it doesn’t matter if it is Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal. Either way, I would not support the move.

We the people - We the People select who we want representating us not just as President of the United States, but in all offices, from Congress representatives and state senators, to district assemblymen and women.

When Governor Scott Walker presented his union-busting, collective bargaining stripping bill to the people, an outry went out and thousands from all over the state - teachers, police, firefighters, the common man - flocked to the Capital to protest. Within a few months, recall efforts were underway for both Republican and Democrat senators, and in the end, Democrats picked up two seats, not enough for the three needed to gain majority, but it wasn’t in vain.

It is the people who elect their representatives, the people who pledge their hard-earned money to fund the campaigns. I understand the frustration with the $44 million spent on the recent recalls, but stripping even more rights from the voting public of Wisconsin is not right. If constituents feel their lawmakers have let them down in some way, are no longer representing their best interests - whatever that may be - they should have every right to try to recall him or her.

This bill isn’t to prevent another rampaging recall effort from occurring in the future, it’s to limit a party takeover - because our Assemblymen and women, both Republican and Democrat - are incapable of working together. Public officials represent us, and showing intollerance and an unwillingness to work together for the betterment of our county, state and nation is a poor message to send to everyone.

Step up politicians, put aside your petty differences, and work to address an actual growing problem: how to fix our declining economy, growing unemployment rates and budget deficit, while not completely turning a cold shoulder to the most needy. Leave the party-pandering in the dust, please.

The Path of the Warrior

I know it’s been a couple months since my last post. I’ve been busy, so sue me. Thankfully, enough has happened lately where all I need to worry about is what to write about first.

Anyway, Saturday, Sept. 17 I traveled to Twin Lakes, Wis. for Warrior Dash. It was a 3.2 mile run, with 10 obstacles, including 8-12 foot walls,a 16-foot rope wall, crawling under barbed wire and a mesh net, leaping over fire and crawling through a mud pit.

Although my time wasn’t the best (42:03.35), I did make my goal - I did not walk a single step and only stopped when I had to wait my turn at the obstacles.

At the end of the day Saturday I finished 4,632 out of 6,657 finishers, and 214 out of 321 female finishers age 20-24. All things considered, I didn’t do that bad, and I had A LOT of fun. After the mud pit and crossing the finishing line, my foot slipped and I actually went all the way down in the mud. I joked about it and was like well, that’s the way to finish the race! Lol.

After the race, I went through Warrior Wash - everybody lined up to get hosed down by the Randall Fire Department. I just went come on, on some level isn’t it every women’s fantasy to get hosed down by a firefighter? No? Oh well, guess it’s just me. Sadly I missed out on signing a guy’s nipple - guess there’s always next year.

By the end, I was covered head to toe in mud. There was a tiny bit of open space on my face and a space on the upper back of my T-shirt that was clean, but that was it.

It was a great challenge, and now I know that I can handle anything - watch out Tough Mudder 2012 - you’re next!