Monday, June 15, 2015

Woof! Woof! Bark! Yip! (The Puppy Run 10K, as told by Artemis)

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Mom just called leash is on...outdoor time! I could just howl with happiness. She has that strange frilly thing on, it must be race time! Puppy run? But she is no puppy, I'm the puppy. But she is doing the oddest thing right now. She is lapping from the showerhead like a puppy. Perhaps this is some strange ritual where masters act like dogs...

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. The door is opening! My human is so slow! I want to race down the stairs, but she is not her usual chipper self! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! We are running. Well, what she calls running. I call it fast walking.

How I love to smell the grass. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Hmm...the dog next door peed here. I see he had Fromm's for breakfast. I should leave him a message for his next visit. Master is jogging alongside me. She smells funny, like sweat, blood and fear. I see a bunch of new dots on her arms and legs. It must be those pesky flying bugs. That must be the fear...she hates those things. So do I. They sometimes land on me and I snap at them. I must try again to approach the cat about a plan of attack. He is good at surprise attacks. He sometimes jumps out at me, and mom does not do anything. I look at her, and she looks back at me. She does not understand...there is no defeating that stealth mode pest.

What? What is that? I see...more dogs! OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY! will not let us stop. Wuff! She has not respect for me. Just run, run, run...squirrel! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! master normally goes all the way up the hill under this big structure...she calls it a ….bark...bardge...bridge. A bridge.

Now we have turned around. OH BOY! It's that dog! She let's us stop for about a minute this time. He has a ball. I LOVE BALLS! We are running again...drat. We stop again at a house. There are small humans. They are spraying water at us. I hate water. I hate getting wet, but for some reason my master loves it. She can be so weird.

Run run run, right past that building with the human I hate. He is big and I don't like the look of him (the military statue near the American Legion post), I tried barking at him one time but he was not fazed by my intimidating war cry.
The author, Artemis, and his master, Rachel.

Ooh, a rock. I want to pee...but master pulls at my leash. Run, she says, we are almost there. Almost where? We finally arrive back home. She is acting weird. I bet if I nudged her, she would fall over.


Sophie's master came outside. I love playing with Sophie. We run and run and run. Sometimes she tries to herd me...then I wrestle with her. Sophie's master is doing something funny with my mom's voice box, at least she talks into it a lot. And it makes funny beeping noises. Master is being silly and standing on one foot.

She is trying to get me to look at the voice box. I do not like looking at it...oh all right. Just for a few seconds. Silly master.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, dinner! Yummy!

No comments:

Post a Comment